Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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