Sponge bath it is.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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