4 words: hood of his car
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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