what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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