if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
