Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize