That's intense
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
