You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
