Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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