I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Dignity is for republicans.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
