he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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