it hurts more in the daytime
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I understand Curling. That high.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
