I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
