We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
