he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize