We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
