We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize