You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
