He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
