im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
