i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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