I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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