you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
