I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
