I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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