i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
