I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
