Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
