you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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