bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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