it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
