hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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