I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
