I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
There r osticjed everywhere
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
