Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize