How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
MIDGETS
????
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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