Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
