Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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