Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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