im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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