ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
