I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
do nipples grow back?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
