He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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