My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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