I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
