i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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