her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
