he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
COCAINE IS GR8
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
