Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
