Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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