Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
