you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
