I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
