He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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