Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
