We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize