these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
