I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
