Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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