when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize