Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
